Monday, June 02, 2008

tired and grumpy

Not a good morning. DH snored all night long. Loudly, like he had something to prove. Earplugs proved useless, and they hurt my ears besides, so I am beyond tired today. This morning I tried everything to get him to roll over, blow his nose, do SOMETHING to give me just a few more minutes of sleep. Finally I gave up and got out of bed - I hadn't left the hallway when he stopped. He didn't start again.

I was pissed, and very passive aggressive. I slammed doors, I let my alarm go off for a while before turning it off, I didn't close the bathroom door while I was getting ready. When it was time to leave, I just said "'Kay, bye." I usually go wake him up, give him a kiss, tell him I love him. Today I was just pissed. "Call your doctor. You snored all night." He mumbled something, didn't really respond, which just pissed me off more.

I know it's not his fault, he has no control over it. I snore too, have all my life, and I can't control it. I feel bad when I keep people awake. I don't go on camping trips or retreats because of it. But when I'm not getting any sleep, and what little I can grab is interrupted every hour or two so I can pee, then it just becomes torturous.

I don't know what we're going to do. I want him in bed with me. I want his help when the baby comes, I don't want him in another room. I can't wear ear plugs with a baby, or I won't hear him cry. Someone suggested letting DH sleep in another room with a baby monitor so he can hear if I call him. It's the best suggestion I've had so far, but I still don't like it.

He'd better stay safe today. I was bitchy to him, and slammed the door as I left the house. I hate leaving like that, I worry "What if something happens and that's the last interaction I have with him?"

I'm still tired and grumpy. It's going to be a long day.

1 Comments:

Anonymous z said...

Hi,

I read through ur posts from the beginning (ok, maybe not entirely thoroughly :p ) and although I have no experiance with conceiving a child etc, I think your blog captures the journey well.

I hope the rest of your pregnancy runs smoothly :)

5:58 PM  

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