items one through four

Lessee, where to start.

Item the First. Diabetes sucks. I cried tonight because I gave in and had a glass of milk with the all-protein-and-veggie dinner I made. I thought it would be safe, with all that chicken and all those dark leafy greens. It was the only part of dinner that I enjoyed. Then DH went into the kitchen to get a bowl of ice cream for himself. I cried. But it wasn't the ice cream, so much, as knowing that the milk I drank was going to make my numbers go too high. Which it did. Why don't I learn? I can give up candy and cake and cookies, but leave a jug of milk in the fridge and I'm drawn to it like a junkie to crack. And I had to buy a watch for the first time in 15 years, one with an alarm to remind me to test my blood sugar one hour after each meal, because I kept forgetting. I had very strict requirements - I wanted a women's watch that was analog (digital watches are just so lazy), with an alarm on it, that wasn't ugly. DH searched and searched, and came up with two options that met all my criteria. I chose the Casio Waveceptor, and replaced the leather band with a metal one. So far, I like it. Just not the fact that I had to buy a watch because of my health, and not for aesthetic reasons.

Item the Second. Spotting sucks, too. The doctor says he's not concerned. It isn't a lot. It comes and goes, and the baby is bouncing like a little gymnist in there all the time. But still, every time I see a tinge of red, my heart skips a beat and I start to think unhappy thoughts. Doc says to stay off my feet, take it easy, and try not to stress. I'm having a hard time with that last one, thanks to GD and work and the spotting. He said if I can't destress in the next two weeks, he's going to put me on disability. I think it might be a good thing. I'm importing a Pregnancy Meditation CD into iTunes right now, and I'm going back to meditating. I hope it helps. But going on leave now is still probably a good idea.

Item the Third. I know I'm supposed to take it easy, but tomorrow is a busy busy day. Contractors in and out all day, giving us bids for various fix-up projects around the house. One contractor is coming to strip the wallpaper in the nursery, which was applied directly to the drywall otherwise I'd take my parents up on their offer to do it for us. He comes at 8, and I'm running all day. But I'm looking forward to getting this stuff moving, and really I don't have to go anywhere or do much else than say "It's open!" when the doorbell rings all day long. Dad is coming over Saturday to help DH patch holes in our walls left over from electricians rewiring our house. Mom is coming to... I'm not sure what she's going to do. Maybe we'll pick paint for the nursery. Maybe I'll just take a nap and let them all figure it out. After all, I'm supposed to take it easy and stay off my feet, right?

Item the Fourth. I also have an endocrinologist appt tomorrow. I'm going to tell him that the class he sent me to was useless. The nurse teaching it even told me it was irrelavent to my situation. I'm going to tell him that I told my OB on him, and he's sending me to another class that will actually help me, a one-on-one deal with a Gestational Diabetes Nutritionist at the hospital. Which the endocrinologist was supposed to have done in the first place. I'm going to tell him that I'm not happy this is taking so long to figure out, I realize it's not a precise science, but there HAS to be a better answer than "Just experiment and see what happens."

I am becoming more and more pregnant every day. I am weepy and irritable and uncomfortable. But you know what? I love being pregnant. It's not just the idea of it, the thought that I'm going to have a baby. I love feeling him move. I love having a doctor who is dedicated to keeping me and my baby safe. I love picking out little bitty socks and hats. I love waddling, believe it or not. I did not love waking up the other night, screaming in pain with what I can only assume was the first of many braxton hicks to come. But I loved knowing that this is all going as it should, and I'm getting near the end. Birth pains and all of that, right? I have never felt more like a woman in my life. And I love that.

I guess that was Item the Fifth. Here's one last thing to leave you with. I'm getting an IKEA crib, and I'm gonna pimp the shit outta it!!! Check it. I'm adding my own flair to it, of course, but this is the inspiration and the general gist. I'm thinking espresso paint, but the rope lights are a very nice touch.