Saturday, June 14, 2008

sex and the city

I expected the movie to be fun. Not great, a longer version of a typical episode, fun and entertaining.

I did NOT expect to go from full out belly laughs to crying like a baby over the storyline.

This movie was good - really good. They brought in all the familiar elements, some new twists, and brought it current without any real awkwardness. They even addressed Charlotte's infertility issues again. With class. Again.

********SPOILER ALERT********

I always liked the way they handled that storyline. She hurt, and there was no good reason for it. She tried everything, and went through all her options. One marriage crumbled and another blossomed, and she and her new husband decided to adopt a little girl from China. In the movie, she is a happy mother of three-year-old Lily.

Then, three years after adopting, against any odds, she becomes pregnant. She is fearful of this pregnancy, stops running because she doesn't want to hurt the baby, and just waits for the other shoe to drop. Everyone around her is having problems - relationships falling apart, life not going as planned - and she just can't believe that she actually gets to have everything she ever wanted. Why does she get to be happy? Surely something awful is going to happen to her.

A lot of women don't get to have the happy ending. She had already accepted that her own happy ending was going to look different than she had originally planned. She was a mother, a wife, content to be what she always wanted to be. Now she faced the reality of a dream she'd set aside, and the terror of having it taken from her yet again.

I don't know the details of how this storyline came to be a part of this series. I'm guessing someone on the creative staff went through infertility, because it was written with the grit of someone who knows from the inside what it's like. From her miscarriage to the shots in the ass to the hurt relationship to the final unbelievable joy and terror coexisting until that baby is in her arms, the story portrays the journey so well. Better than most attempts I've seen at this topic, even though still show-bizzed up.

For example, she tells Carrie that she'd always heard that once you stop trying it can happen, that a lot of people adopt and then get pregnant. I do wish this idea hadn't been reinforced - a lot of women adopt and still never get pregnant. A lot of people give up and live child-free. Relaxing, adopting, these are not cures for IF. Yes, sometimes it happens, but when you're in the midst of IF these are not helpful things to hear. Especially from people who haven't been through it, and think that these are answers. But I digress.

I wish there were more good examples out there. More stories to let women know, Hey, this is real. You are not alone, you're not a freak, this is really out there. More stories to let the public know, This is painful. This is not trivial, this is not just an unfortunate disappointment to get over. It's not something to joke about, or take lightly, or brush aside as insignificant.

Anyway, I highly recommend the movie. For many reasons, not just this one. It really was much better than I expected, and I went in expecting to enjoy it.


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