we made a baby!

So much for induction. My water broke at 8am on Monday July 1. I have a huge long birth story, but the short version is it went well. I labored naturally for several hours until the back labor became too much and my blood pressure got too high. Then I agreed to an epidural and was immediately set afloat on a cloud of bliss. Got about 5 hours of sleep, woke in the morning at 10cm dilated and ready to push. But then my contractions started getting weaker and further apart, so I agreed to pitocin to get them going again. Twenty minutes of pushing, and Baby G was born.

We had a severe bout of jaundice that necessitated him returning to the hospital after one night at home. Four days under the UV lights in the NICU brought him back from a deep yellow to a proper baby color. It was so difficult to have to bring him back, to have to leave him there, to not be able to hold him except for when we fed him. But he's home now, back in my arms where he belongs.

I think he's just about the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I can not even describe the wonder of seeing his face for the first time. I recognized him the moment I saw him, as if I'd been waiting for him to come to us. He's all ours, our very own baby head to smell, all the noises and faces he makes just for us. Being a mother is both the hardest and most wonderful thing I have ever done in my life. There's no way to prepare for this. I'm in heaven.

big news x 2

We are scheduled for induction for 5am on Thursday. I'm excited. I'm terrified. I'm ready.

There's a big difference between knowing you're going to go into labor any time in the next couple of weeks, and knowing it's happening at a specific time.

I wanted to go into labor naturally. I'm going to have to work through the disappointment, but I know we're making the right decision. The placenta is starting to deteriorate, so it's not just a baby size issue, it's a safety issue. I want to go into labor naturally, but I also want a healthy baby. That's top on my list of priorities.

Our nursery is done! Look!

In other news, I just found out that I my claim in a class action lawsuit against the school where I got my second degree has been approved. I will be getting up to my full tuition reimbursed, depending on the number of claimants. There is a set amount of settlement money in escrow, so I will be getting something for sure. The amount just depends on how many ways they have to divide it.

It's been a good day for news!

d minus 7 and counting

Today the doctor informed me that he wants to deliver this kid in the next week, week and a half. After an internal exam and u/s, he said end of next week. The baby is getting big, already a bit over 7lbs. I'm dilated 2cm, and there are calcium deposits on the placenta. Which isn't a bad thing, just a sign that it's "getting old" as he said. Amniotic fluid looks great, heartrate is great, my BP and b/s are on target. It's just the size of the baby and the calcium that's making the doc eager.

DH is coming with me on Monday's NST appointment. I'm guessing we'll figure out then for sure when we're delivering. Since I'm starting to dilate already, doc says I'm a good candidate for induction. I'm not really thrilled about that, as it will make labor faster and more intense. But much as I'd rather a natural labor process to being induced, I'd prefer being induced to c/s. And I'd prefer all of those options over delivering a ginormous baby, which could result in a c/s anyway, so what's there to lose?

Ultimately, what I want most is a healthy baby. So I'll take whatever helps us acheive that.

full term

I am officially full term. 37 weeks. My baby could technically be born any time now.

The doctor today measured the baby and laughed as he said, "That is NOT a small baby!" He's already 7lb, as the doc estimates. So much for newborn clothes. Of course I washed them already, because of course I didn't listen to anyone who told me not to, and I'm really okay with that.

We had a great chat about delivery, vaginal vs. c/s, and how I want it to go. Bottom line? He told me, "I am not here to tell you how to deliver. I am here to listen to what you want, and to help you have the delivery you want. My job is to help you have a safe delivery, a healthy baby, and the experience you want." Nice! Can't complain about that!

So, although the kid is already big and full term and all, I'm hoping he hangs on at least another week so we can finish some of the last-minute stuff around here. I think a week should be fine. I had a dream that I delivered on July 9, so if that's the case we should be free and clear.

NST update

Today's NST went better. Still, the doctor told me to go home and rest, put my feet up, drink lots of cold water. And if Baby G didn't start moving around more, to go to the hospital for closer monitoring.

I told him today was supposed to be my last day of work, but it was no problem if he didn't want me to go, this was more important. He said, "No, you're done. Go home." So I called work and let them know, and went home.

Now, work. The people I work for have been acting strange lately, kind of stinky. But the people I work with have been wonderful (now that I've changed studios). The gal I work with was so disappointed I couldn't come in today, she almost cried. Then she sent me some pictures, and I discovered why she cared so much.

They went all out, coming in early to decorate my desk for me. N-- got the balloons and flowers and made the sign, and J-- had his mom drive out to the valley (as in The Valley, mocked by all in LA and at least an hour and a half from where she lives) to get me this special, diabetic-friendly, sugar-free cake.

After she sent the pictures, I got a call. She wanted to know if she could come over to bring me the goodies. She was so bummed that I wasn't there to get them, and she didn't want to make DH drive out there tonight, so she loaded up her car and drove the cake and flowers to me. She took about 1-1/2 to 2 hours out of her day to make sure I got them.

The people I work for have been on my list, and make me not want to come back at all after maternity leave. The person I used to work with - well, this would never have occured to her. If there was a celebration that it was my last day, it would have been her celebrating me finally being gone. But these guys, them I love. And apparently they love me too. =)

update

Baby's moving more. He likes the air conditioning. It makes me feel better.

Also, found the kitty. He's sitting on a fence outside our window, "hiding" behind some bushes. He let me pet him, but he's not interested in coming inside. Silly beast.

NST = Not So Terrific

Baby G was not cooperating at this morning's NST. He seemed to be sleeping the whole time, and didn't respond to the doctor's buzzer that he uses to wake up babies. He hasn't moved much at all today, but he was very active yesterday and today is hot, so that could be it. His heartbeat is strong. For the most part.

There are some strange dips in the heartbeat. I forgot what the doctor called it, but it starts to jump when he does move, and then it dips down lower than it should. The doctor said that it *could* indicate that there's a kink in the chord. He did an u/s and the fluid looks good, but he's still concerned and wants me to come back tomorrow for another test.

I asked him if I should be worried, and he said no, but of course I am. Especially since this little one isn't moving so much today. The doc said that we're at the point now where we could safely deliver - but we're SO not ready yet! His nursery has just been primed, and I'm still working on the crib.

Oh, there's a kick. Yay!

Anyway, tomorrow is supposed to be my last day of work, so I scheduled the NST for early in the morning and called to tell the office I'll be in late. I know they'll be disappointed if I don't make it in at all - not because I skipped out, but because it's my last day, and Thursday is my birthday, and they're going to want to make a fuss.

So this is stressful. Also, one of my kitties seems to have run away. =( DH let him out Sunday and I haven't seen him since. He's usually gone a couple days at a time, so we haven't panicked yet, but I'm getting worried.

I sure hope tomorrow's test goes well. Eager as I am to meet Baby G, I'd rather wait another few weeks.

never as productive as planned

We didn't get done nearly what I had hoped to get done. I wanted the nursery mostly finished this weekend. We got a good start, but it's far from finished.

My parents came over to help for Father's Day. They didn't get there 'til about 2, though, and then wanted to go to lunch. So we didn't get started 'til about 4. My dad and DH sanded the walls in the nursery where they'd been patched, and got the room primed. My mom and I ran to the fabric store to find material to embellish the valance we were making out of a crib skirt. Originally I wanted to use the curtains that come with the set, but they're too short and it seemed a hassle to make them longer. So we took a crib skirt and cut off the ruffle, added a pocket at the top for the curtain rod, and trimmed with ribbon we found that was the EXACT color of the walls. They turned out great! (And by "we" I mean "she" - mom did all the work, even trimming the skirt so that the dotted pattern lined up just right.) I'll post pics once it's done and up.

As for me, I started my crib-pimping projects. I got one side halfway done. It goes fast, it's easy, but it takes the glue a while to dry. I'm going to get the other side glued up, mark the holes for drilling, and then let DH stain it. Or I'll get a mask and do it outside, depending on how despearate I am to get it done.

I also had a flurry of nesting anxiety and decided that every appliance in my kitchen HAD to be scrubbed, inside and out. It was quite a site, seeing me sitting on the floor with a scrubby brush, scouring the front of my range.

This is my last week of work. I work today and Wednesday, and have dr's appts on Tues and Fri. I'm hoping that having time off work will mean I have time to get stuff done. DH is finishing the painting in the evenings this week. I'm finishing the crib. Then we can put it all together and have a nursery.