Starting Again

I guess it's fitting that Easter, a time of rebirth and renewal, brought with it the first day of a new cycle.

I don't know that I'm ready to jump back in to the world of charting and temping and counting and peeing on sticks and "baby dancing" and all of that just yet. This break has been nice, better for me than I could have imagined. Usually the arrival of AF would have me in a puddle of tears, curled up in the fetal position and rocking. This time, I said "Huh" and moved on.

This will be a Month of Discovery for us. Next Tuesday I'm having my HSG - for those who aren't in the know, this is where they'll inject my tubes full of dye to see if there is any blockage. I've heard it's more painful than an IUI, and I had a *horrible* IUI, so I'm not looking forward to it. But DH can come with me, so that will be comforting. Then, two days later, I have an u/s to see if the follicles are doing what they're supposed to be doing. The doc seems to think that I can grow follicles just fine - I just don't know how to release them. They'll also do a post-coital test, either that same day if it looks like I'm ovulating, or a few days later. I'm anticipating a few days later.

DH was so cute about the post-coital. He looked at me with this look of dread on his face, and said, "What do I need to do for THAT?!" I told him, "Just make love to your wife, honey. That's all you have to do."

How insanely unfair is it that the guys get to have all the fun in all of this? He gets to have sex-on-demand. The worst he has to face is me taking away his briefs and occasionally having to get happy with a plastic cup. Me, I get to be poked and prodded and examined. I get to be half-naked, spread-eagled on a table, feet up in stirrups, in a room full of people while the doctor violates me with what I fondly refer to as The Magic Wand. I get to have my uterus clamped so they can insert a catheter up near my tubes. I get to have dye shot through my abdomen. And, if I'm lucky and the doctor is right and my ONLY problem is not releasing the follicles? I get to take a shot in the stomache, either given by myself or DH.

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman.

Anyway, it's a new cycle, and a cycle of discovery for us. Hopefully this month will bring us some answers, and a plan.