owie!

Time for whining.

I hurt. My tummy has stopped cramping for the most part, but the cramps have moved lower. Much lower. Yesterday it felt like someone was stabbing me with knives, today it feels like they've moved on to punching me instead.

I'm peeing several times a day. Usually I have a bladder of steel, and can go through the day with three trips to the bathroom. I've gone three times today alone, and it's only lunch time! And every time I pee it hurts. My muscles feel all torn and strained, and protest at the simple act of releasing. Which means I hold off going to the bathroom as long as I can, which means I have a lot when I finally do go, and it just hurts even more.

I'm exhausted. I had to break down today and have caffeine. Yesterday too, or I would have fallen asleep at my desk. But when I get home, and sit on the couch after dinner, I don't have the energy to get up and get ready for bed. I sleep like a champ when I do go to bed - usually I wake up several times a night, but this week I've woken up in the morning in the same position I fell asleep in.

I'm dizzy. I'm often dizzy, but this is worse. I can just be sitting still, not moving, and the room will start spinning. It's worse if I stand up suddenly, or if I sit up in bed too quickly.

I am trying not to read too much into any of this. I've had all these symptoms before, at different times. Never all at once, and this particular type of cramping is new to me. But I don't want to get my hopes all up, only to have them dashed next week. It's scary to hope, so I'm just trying not to think about it at all.