not so good

Well that sucked. The IUI was not comfortable, but not painful. Except for a few pinches, it was mostly just pressure. DH came with me and held my hand.

But the doctor said that my cervix is wide open, and everything that she put into it just leaked right out. She said that's probably why I'm not getting pregnant (on top of the not ovulating bit).

I just feel so damn broken. My body doesn't O on its own, so we get it going and now it's working in that department. But then, my cervix isn't doing what it's supposed to, and there's nothing we can do about that.

She wants to do the second one Wednesday as planned. She says it's not impossible, but not highly likely. She wants to do three cycles of this.

I'm wondering what the point is. If this isn't going to work for us, then why keep doing it? I'm cramping and bleeding and crying and feeling like I'm completely broken. My girly parts might as well not exist, for all the good they do me.

I'm so discouraged. Where do we go from here? Do we go ahead and plan for IVF? Do we consider surragacy? Adoption? GIFT? All I know is we don't give up.

Even though I'm feeling very defeated right now.