pregnancy changes everything
I am getting sick of women complaining that pregnancy is making them fat, that they're getting bigger, that they miss their old figures.
Maybe it's because I'm a plus-sized woman to begin with. Maybe it's because I've had to actually LOSE weight this pregnancy, due to GD and m/s. Maybe I just don't mind that my body is unrecognizable as mine, because I see it as proof that this baby that was so hard to come by is growing and thriving and my body is FINALLY doing what it was meant to do.
I don't know. But who expects to get pregnant, grow an entire other person inside, and be physically unaffected? It changes EVERYTHING - from my hair and nails, to my shoe size and bra size, to how I walk and whether or not I can get up out of a chair. My entire diet has changed. I have to switch my lower sportier car for my husband's higher SUV this weekend, after barely making it out of my car after going out for a pedicure. I can't pick up things I drop on the floor. I waddle - slowly. I can't remember to watch the clock so I don't burn breakfast. I'm exhausted, and sometimes I'm cranky, and I'm weepy, and I can't even make it through the Ikea circuit anymore.
And you know what? I'm fine with it. This is what's supposed to happen. If I didn't expect everything to change, I wouldn't have tried to get pregnant in the first place.
This is not to say I don't have my days where I'm just completely overwhelmed by all the changes being thrown at me, seemingly at once. And maybe that's where some of these other women are coming from.
I guess I should just be glad that this isn't bothering me, and realize that we all have our trigger points, and have some grace for all of us.
posted by joyous melancholy at 7:55 PM
2 Comments:
I haven't complained about it - but I understand it. My weight has had me in every size from a 4-28...
Having my body change and get bigger is bringing up insecurities. I love to see my body changing because to me it is a GREAT sign that things are still going good in there...but it also brings up some negative things for me that I wish it didn't.
Oh, and I'm totally weepy too - cried all day Thursday at the TV for no reason.
I can understand that. What really gets to me are these teeny tiny things that are surprised that their feet are swelling, or their butts are spreading a little. Sometimes I wish I was a cute and adorable tiny little pregnant woman - but there is really nothing tiny about me.
I usually struggle with self image. I've been married for five years, and still have a hard time undressing in front of DH.
I did post that in a pissy moment, and perhaps I was a bit harsh. I should be glad that I am able to embrace the swelling me, take pride in it. Maybe it's because I finally have a reason to be big.
We all have our trigger points. For some it's weight. For me, it's the fact that I can't keep working and maintain my health. I'm sure the same gripes I posted here can be made against me - if I didn't expect my career to be affected, why get pregnant in the first place?
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