dipping my toes in the scary pool

I sent away for information on adoption today. I didn't tell DH 'til hours later, as we were sitting at dinner. He just looked at me and said, very carefully, "Okay." I still don't know how I feel about this, just asking for information. I'm not nearly at a place to adopt yet. But then… Tonight I'm holding a Pooh Bear, when I could be holding a baby. True, Pooh will let me sleep more. But I'd trade all the sleep in the world to have a baby-head-smell that's all my own.

DH asked me what I wanted for dinner. "Steak and beer," I told him. We went to the Roadhouse, where there's always too much food. Their beer sucked, so I had their large "Koolaid" which is a kamikaze sort of alchoholic beverage. Didn't even touch me. I wanted to get respectably sloshed tonight. Not fall-down-drunk, but slightly more than buzzed. So much for that.

I so don't want to go to work tomorrow… I'm exhausted. But not as in bad a shape as I expected to be. Small comforts, I guess.