breaking up
I cleaned out my desk today. It only took two trips to the car. I left behind files I don't need, took ones I might need (such as those related to the web site, new technologies, the sort of thing no one there would even think to look in before calling me for answers). I backed up my work to use in a portfolio. Everything is tidy and neat.
It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, but it was sad and it affected me for the rest of the day. I had a growing sense of melancholy on the way home. And I'm exhausted.
Why am I always fleeing from a bad job situation? If I'm not being laid off because of the market, or fired for some really stupid reason, I'm running away from a horrible situation. Granted, leaving due to stress over a bitchy coworker is nothing compared to removing myself from a place where someone wants to kill me, but still. It's distressing to me that I have never been able to leave a "real" job under happier circumstances. I start off happy. I truly believe in the companies I work for, I believe that THIS one will be different, THIS is a good job. Then I spend some time there, and it all starts to go downhill.
Maybe it's like breaking up, and there's no such thing as a good ending. Maybe I just have to keep looking for The One.
Or maybe I need to lower my standards. Maybe DH is right, and every job will eventually screw me. I just don't want to be quite that cynical.
posted by joyous melancholy at 8:24 PM
1 Comments:
I completely understand! The only job I have felt bad leaving was my high school job and my job at the radio station. Both of those jobs I left because I was leaving the area. The jobs I have had since living in Arkansas have all been horrible. Except this last one. It had bad days but usually I could shrug it off, right up until the end. These last two weeks have been torture and the manager has been nothing but vile towards me. Makes me hate giving a two week notice. I wish I would have the guts to walk out and tell him where to put it, but that isn't how I was raised.
I hope you find your dream job.
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